StandardsGirl.com – Views From Within

I was talking to a friend this week and he mentioned that he had been talking to someone about being an SES newbie, or virgin so to speak. He remembered that my first year, I had a kind of list of things I learned and thought maybe I should share it to help make the experience easier for new attendees.

So, since SES NY is just around the corner, I thought I would do so today. Mind you this is all just my opinion, but it is what I have learned about SES conferences over the past three years. Hopefully, if it is your first conference, it will help you not feel like you just started your first day of high school. Because I know my first time, felt like that, just like that. Did I mention I was a geek and not in a cool way, in high school ?

In fact, if it weren’t for my friend who suggested this article, I might have just put my head under the covers and hid away. However, he was my first conference friend and somehow that makes the rest so much easier.

So new to SES NY? Here is what I learned.

1. SES people all know each other. OK, not really, but it will seem like it. Everyone seems to know everyone else and if you came alone, like I did, you find when you walk out in the hallway between sessions it feels like the change between home room and first period in high school. It is a lonely experience, especially if you are not a natural extrovert, which I am not.

   However, I was determined not to let the opportunity to meet people pass me by, so I forced myself out of my comfort zone and spoke to people at coffee stations and water coolers and standing in line for lunch and soon I learned something important. Old time conference folk and SESer’s do know each other, but they don’t bite! While you will run into the occasional, ‘I don’t have time for those lesser than me folk’ (but where in life is that not true!) most people who attend I have found to be friendly and nice and helpful and very willing to open up and befriend the newcomer.

   In fact, once I opened up and smiled at a few people, I found it was very easy to make friends, friends that I have now had for three years. Even when it did not turn into a friendship, I still had great conversations with really great and interesting people and just in that I learned so much!

2. Lunch. Nothing can be scarier than a high school lunch room and I think walking into the SES lunch, knowing no one as you start down hundreds of tables where everyone seems to be chatting is not much different. It was a very intimidating first experience, at least I know it was for me.

   First rule though, remember SESer’s don’t bite! They may seem scary, but that is really all in you. I have never had anyone refuse me a seat or a friendly word as long as I made an effort to be friendly too. However, there are some points to picking out a good table.

   Look for activity. Find a table where all members of the table seem to be engaged in the conversation. If only one part of the table is engaged, or if only a couple of people are engaged chances are it will be difficult to become easily involved in the conversation. If it seems most or all of the table is engaged, chances are they will engage you as well.

   Say Hello! When you sit down, make sure to introduce yourself with a smile and a handshake. Then ask people about themselves. Most people are friendly and in general people like to talk about themselves, so it is usually an easy way to make friends at least for the hour.

3. Business Cards. (This deserves its own set of sections )
   Carry your business cards EVERYWHERE. And bring a few hundred with you, because believe it or not, once you get past the high school butterflies you will use them. Also, make sure you have quick and easy access to your cards. Once you get into the flow of conversation with someone you don’t want to lose that energy by having to fish for cards.

   Also, there will be many times where you simply do not have time to look for the card and an opportunity might be lost. Keep them close!

   Separate your cards. Put cards you get in one place and ones you give out in another.

   You will be surprised how many times you almost give away a card of someone else’s and that someone may be a very important contact or new friend. Keep them in separate places, so this can’t happen.

   Don’t be a card whore. While having cards and having them ready to exchange is important, don’t just start handing your card out to everyone you meet, or stand at exits or entrances, trying to interest people in what you are promoting or selling. This is a very fast way to turn people off.

   You are probably asking yourself, then “When should I hand out my cards?”. It is pretty simple. If you are asked, if you have been chatting and the vibe is right or if you would like to discuss their product or their service with the idea of business or partnering in mind. Otherwise, keep them in your pocket as an unwanted card is like an unwanted number in a singles bar, likely to be tossed out and not remembered fondly.

4. Bring Comfy Clothes and Shoes. This does not mean you have to dress less than professional, though you will see everything from suits to t-shirts and jeans. It does mean that conference days are long and there is little time go back to the hotel room, even if it is in the same building. And don’t think you will have much time between the end of the session day and the beginning of the networking events. There are times when there are only 15 minutes between last session and the first event, so stay comfy even while looking good!
5. No Food For You! Other than lunch – Expect to have little time for eating, especially before networking events. I always joke with friends that at SES they like us drunk! OK, you don’t have to drink and no one will look at you less for not doing so, but most events have alcohol and most events start only a little while after last session. So put two and two together – no food and alcohol make for some bad mornings.

   So, it is always good to know if you are going to have time to eat. If not, then you know to stop and get a snack to bring or if you need to duck out of last session early to make sure your late night does not make for a hungover morning.

6. Twitter me this! If you can have twitter on your phone during sessions, do! But don’t be a twit and tweet in the front row all during someones presentation. If you must tweet and text irrelevantly during session then keep to the back, it just the polite thing to do. However, there are times when people are tweeting about the session and that can be a lot of fun to follow.

   There are times when Matt Cutts and Danny Sullivan have been in a session I have been in and have made very relevant tweets points, sort of like if you were next to them and they were whispering their thoughts in your ear. So use your twitter, just be respectful of the people speaking, but have fun too!

7. Go to all the events. I know you are tired and worn out and think I cannot talk for another minute, but I guarantee that each event I have every attended has in some way been worthwhile. Whether it was just because I could commiserate about being an in-house SEO or talk about tech with people whose eyes don’t glaze over when I mentioned usability, or just because we both love musicals (umm and yes I do!) every event has been a wonderful and fun experience in some way.
8. Network! Network! Network! Are you at the conference to learn? Think all of that happens in session? While I have learned a lot in session, I have learned just as much out of session. I cannot tell you how many little tidbits I have been privy too that are not published in blogs or given out in presentations.

   In session, you will learn great tidbits, but at the bar, after a few drinks you can learn how to make the secret sauce! Truly, the time I have spent hanging out has often been invaluable. However, it is not just about learning, it has also been valuable in building business relationships that can withstand time.

   Normally, when I hire something I have only a resume and an interview to go on. However, when attending a conference, I get to know the person and in that I have found business relationships with people that have become friendships and trusted partners. Never underestimate the value of the networking events.

9. Speakers are People too! When speakers are in session, they will always have a few mins at the end where you can go up and ask them a question about their presentation. It is best to use this time to approach them about their work or if you just could not get to them before being moved out of the room, see if they seem approachable in the hall or at lunch.

   However, while most are happy to talk to you once you get a few drinks, they are people too and this is also their conference. So just remember to be respectful as you would in an office environment and try to keep business to business times and fun to fun times and follow their lead on the rest. And remember if you run into one at the Charity Event or Webmaster Radio Show and you want to talk about their presentation, don’t be offended if they just want to chill and hang with their folks. They need downtime too.

10. It is what you make it. One of my favorite authors is Wayne Dyer and he tells a story about his time in NC. He would often speak there and one day someone came up to them and told them they wanted to move there, but they did not know much about the area. They asked Mr. Dyer, what he thought of the place. He looked at the man and asked him, well how is it where you live? The man went on to talk about how miserable the people where and how much he disliked the town and everything in it. At the end, Mr. Dyer told him that he was sorry, but he would not find it much different there. The man left disappointed.

    Then another time when he was there a woman approached him with the same question. He asked her the same as well, how is it where you live? She said that while she did not like it at first, she learned to appreciate the town very much and was sad to be leaving as she knew some wonderful people and had made some wonderful friends. Dyer looked at her when she finished and told her, it was the same way there.

    At the end of the story, his point is obvious, it is what you make it. SES NY is the same. I find that these conferences can be some of the best experiences of my year. I often joke with friends, is it sad that SES is like my vacation? They joke back and say it is OK, they know I am a geek.

    But what they don’t know is it reminds me very much of the best days of my time in the university, where everyone was learning, having fun, hanging out til the wee hours and just enjoying life. OK, well not everyone, but we were having so much fun we did not notice the ones who weren’t.

I would say SES is the same. It is what you make it. But if it is a little intimidating for you, I just hope this post helps make it a bit better for you!
Thanks for reading!

Smiles!